If The Taliban Had Its Way, We'd All Be Riding Dirty

In a stage that certainly looked liked it would end in a group sprint, a break of three riders stayed away through the finish line during the 5th stage of the Giro. The break started as four, but Paul Voss of Team Milram eased up after earning KOM points. It makes sense that he would join the early break to tighten his grasp on the Maglia Verde that he worked so hard to secure. Just look at the sky-piercing climbs Voss had to endure through the first three stages (stage 4 was the team time trial) to put the green jersey on his back:



I've been reading a lot of stories lately about the struggle between drivers and cyclists. I haven't really ridden that much in the US, so I can't comment on that relationship's dynamic. Here in Europe, the idea of commuting by bike is well ingrained in the public's mind. So much so that it isn't rare to see a teenage boy riding a women's bike from the 70's. On top of that, he isn't embarrassed about it at all because there is no stigma attached. Anyway, on my ride yesterday it dawned on me that we shouldn't be talking about drivers vs. cyclists, but instead those with common sense vs. idiots. It's akin to saying the war on terror instead of US vs. Al Qaeda or US vs. the Taliban. It expands the scope (which may hamper any goals, withdraw plans, or true markers of victory) a bit, but it truly encompasses the issue. We must remain vigilant, idiots can look just like you and me - they drive cars, ride bikes, roller-blade, and even walk. Let's Roll!

Took a trip to Brauerei Fässla the other day to enjoy a nice pilsner. For those who haven't partaken in German beer, pils is a very light beer with a clean taste. It can be equated to a Budweiser (I understand that Bud is a lager) in the States, but remove all the crappy flavor and aftertaste of the Bud and replace it with refreshment. Each brewery here brews a handful or beers as well as seasonal and specialty beers (Oktoberfest and Bock being the big specialties). The pils is one of the regular beers Fässla brews, with the Zwergla being it's signature libation. The pils is light and smooth, with mild flavors - perfect for a warm afternoon in the sun.


I'll leave you today with some choice kit from the Footon-Servetto-Fuji team. When I first saw them during the TTT, I thought that maybe they had decided to forgo the skin suit; instead riding in only their "birthday suit." Riding dirty indeed.

VdV : Jansen :: Mike Green : DB

Disclaimer: I understand that May is bike month and that the 21st is bike to work day, but I will not be partaking in the festivities this year. The reason - I don't go to work. Not having a job is nice sometimes.

While perusing the web yesterday I came across one of the most overused sayings this side of the Atlantic (or that side, since I'm on the other side), "I have an eclectic taste in music!" If liking music from different bands makes your taste in music eclectic, then I guess everyone has eclectic taste in music. The definition of eclectic is taking what appears to be the best from different styles. I'd like to find the person who doesn't have eclectic taste in music, because that would mean they would only enjoy the music from one band, whether it was crappy or not. Of course the person who says this almost always accompanies it with the phrase, "I like just about anything," which, by definition, is almost the exact opposite of eclectic.

VdV is out of the Giro due to a stage three crash for the second year in a row. Now for the good news: he broke 85.7% less bones this year. At that rate he should be on track to not break any next year. Don't worry Christian, it took Dan Jansen a couple years to finish as well.

Picture of VdV courtesy of slipstreamsports.com and picture of Jansen courtesy of sptimes.com

Mike Green of Bike Blog NYC may not be an idiot, but he sure sounds like one. In this article he claims that he doesn't ride in bike lanes because they are "limiting." They are also safe and made for bikes. I hope that Mr. Green doesn't get upset when motor vehicles drive and park in the bike lanes, or the sidewalk, or his living room for that matter. Once the city gave drivers designated lanes and parking spaces they did nothing but "limit" them. Here's to fighting the man!

In what looked like a picture-perfect lead-out, André Greipel got jumped again and failed to land on the podium for a second Giro stage in a row. With a showing like this there is no way HTC's manager can afford to send Cav to France and sit Greipel. If anything he needs the practice more than Cav. Don't feel too bad Dré, you've made the top step of my podium.

May 12th DB Podium
1. André Greipel
2. Mike Green
3. LTC Terrence Lakin

New Podium Results

Remember this guy:

Turns out he not only sports some incredibly ridiculous shades to appease his salary paying sponsors, but he is also a pretty fast sprinter (check out velonews to see a sweet picture of André "I'm ready for the Tour and should be the team's #1 sprinter ahead of Cav even though I got beat by one of my other HTC teammates" Greipel crossing the line 4th). Good for him. It is nice to see an American racer win on the big stage. Now all that has to happen is for Americans to care about it.

Speaking of Americans, Penny and I were out for a nice dinner with some friends Friday evening before we leave Germany next month. Shortly after we sat down this smug ass-face that I will refer to as "Old Spice", sauntered over to our table and muttered something along the lines of, "I'm an American. You know what embarrasses me when I go out and I hear Americans talking, it's not that they are speaking English and not the native language, but they are always the loudest ones around." While Old Spice was scolding us, he was waving his napkin around like he was conducting an orchestra. To top it off, he was wearing a traditional Bavarian hunting jacket that, due to our newly discovered knowledge that he was an American, made his even more of a douche. Obviously his name isn't Old Spice or anything like that, it's probably more similar to Mr. D. E. Baggerson III. Oh yeah, I shouldn't forget the pretty important fact that when Old Spice was getting all Tommy-Toughnuts on us, there were a total of three tables that were occupied in the restaurant. Of course you can hear us, dickbag!

Once we left Old Spice we meet up with an old friend at Brauerei Spezial for a nice lager before snaking our way to the Emerald Isle, Bamberg's typical Irish pub (and the business that occupies the ground floor of our apartment building). Shortly after consuming a pint, the gang then beelined for the other Irish pub, Mulligan's, for a nightcap. Within a few moments of showing up, one of Penny's former employees bought a round of Irish Car Bombs. In and of itself a car bomb isn't that bad, but drinking your wife's right after yours can't be a good thing for your liver. To top it off, Penny had already dropped the shot into the Guinness and then decided she didn't want the drink. Awesome. Crawling into bed, we looked at the clock and realized that it was 4 am. Not a bad evening indeed.

I've been trying to watch stage three of the Giro, but all the links direct me to a tennis match. I guess instead of watching others ride I should go out and sit my out-of-shape ass in the saddle for a few miles. I can always catch the last few kilometers on Youtube anyway.

Unofficial douche bag podium results:
1. Old Spice
2. André Greipel
3. Lawrence Taylor

Ok, off to ride. Remember kids, don't do crack. Or underage girls.

Perhaps Olivia Munn Might Need the Top Bar Pad

Update: I’m alive after the Cinco de Mayo celebration Penny and I took part in. By celebration I mean some chicken fajitas and quesadillas with cerveza to wash it all down. I was debating whether to go with Corona or the “designer” beer Salitos. In the end I chose the Corona and left the Salitos to those fixie-tricksters BikeSnobNYC politely refers to as “Nü-Freds”. Crazy thing though, it seems that PBR in the can is the libation of choice in the fixed-gear circles.

Speaking of PBR in the can, as it were, in a night of beer consumption, to include a couple of the Blue Ribbon in the can, I was engaged in a conversation with a seemingly nice young man from Kentucky. Using keen intellect and his apparent girlfriend’s interest in my home state of Connecticut, I managed to convince him to agree with me that Kentucky and surrounding states should be referred to as the Mideast, much the same way as Kansas and surrounding states are referred to as the Midwest. Whether due to his girlfriend’s excitement at meeting a “Nutmeger” or his lack of personal skills, shortly after our conversation, the two seemed to have an argument that resulted in her leaving alone and my buddy claiming that I had caused the breakup of what might have been the world’s greatest relationship. That is neither here nor there, though it was, in fact, in Cincinnati.

Back to the fixie-tricksters we were discussing earlier, it appears as though the venerable bike messenger has gone the way of the dinosaur and has been replaced with the caveman that is fixed freestyle, or as it is known to those in the know – “700cmx”. It seems to me that their only “tricks” are wheelies, bar-spins, and riding backwards. Though I don’t have the coordination to perform any of said tricks, I’m not too impressed.

Many people can perform a wheelie on a road bike, and in the end fixed freestyle is nothing more than the Thanksgiving-child’s-table cousin of BMX flatlanding.

Away from bikes we go and on to other important topics. It appears that for the last year I have been leaving work early to watch Attack of the Show to catch peeks of Olivia Munn for no reason. According to christwire.org, Olivia actually has a penis. As ridiculous as that story is, it is merely the tip of the absurdity. Like my previous Jersey-raised coworker who got offended when we made fun of the “fist-pump” Jersey Shore dance because, as he put it, “That’s just dancing!”, I’m not sure if the contributors are incredibly idiotic or cleverer than I can fathom. I’ll let you decide for yourselves.

Bikes, Beats, Cats, Beer

Crappy weather lately. Not crappy enough to totally dissuade you from doing any outdoor activity, but enough to make you hesitate. The last two days it has looked like it's going to rain, so I haven't ridden, not wanting to get caught in any downpours. Then to just stick it to me, it sprinkles for about 5 minutes and that is the extent of Mother Nature's fury. What I have done the last two days though is run; first time in about six weeks. Monday I ran while Penny followed on her bike. I totaled about 4.5 miles that day and a little less than 3 yesterday as a warm up to a very worthless gym session. Got out on the bike today though. While it didn't rain, Mother Nature got me once again. Within the first two miles my hands were frozen and I feared for my future of my fingers (dropping the f-bombs!). So I cut my ride short and now the sun is out and the birds are singing, there are girls sunbathing on the sidewalk, a random Mavic support car is driving around aimlessly looking for a rider in need of help.

Like the block in basketball or the outfield assist in baseball, the drum solo is a much overlooked moment of excitement. Here, Chris Pennie, the drummer for Coheed and Cambria (far and away the greatest band out there) smacks his sticks across his drum set for your enjoyment. He introduces his solo and explains what he is going to do. Really it is a drawn out way of saying that he is going to blow everyone's f-ing brains. But being a college educated fellow (he attended Berklee College of Music in Boston, MA for two years and received a degree in music synthesis) he was a little more eloquent. I also have a feeling he did't want to piss off his fellow Cats such as Steve Vai, Rivers Cuomo, Gavin DeGraw, Paula Cole, and The Click Five. On second thought, I bet, like everyone else, he doesn't really care about The Click Five.



Sorry folks, no beer this installment. Penny just reminded me that today is Cinco de Mayo. So instead of going to a brewery today, we are going to eat dinner at the only Mexican restaurant we know of in town. Mexican food in Germany; if I'm able to I'll be sure to report on the experience later.

Forgot a Title Yesterday

Fabian Wegmann won Rund um den Finanzplatz Eschborn-Frankfurt (hereafter referred to as RFEF) on an overcast day in central Germany (of course it rained here in northern Bavaria). This win (in what he states is his favorite race) puts him one behind fellow countryman Erik Zabel for most RFEF wins.

Please, take a minute and compare the two photos (the one of Cav courtesy of Velonews) above. There seems to be happy emotions flowing from Wegmann and negative ones from Cav. Alas though, we've all been had. Wegmann has to show positive emotions because any display such as the one Cav put on would result in death in Germany. Ok, maybe less death and more reformatting since all Germans are actually robots.

And yet despite their cold efficiency, RFEF seems to make no sense. Here, take a gander at the race route:

Clearly the dotted blue line is the most intelligent route to take as Google maps calculates it to be roughly 13.6 kilometers as opposed to the 201.7 kilometer route the peloton took. Now, you could argue that RFEF, as the name implies, travels around the financial area that encompasses Eschborn and Frankfurt, but that is illogical and does not compute.

Penny and I ate at Bauerei Hoh last night (sorry, no pictures). Hoh is a small brewery a couple minutes outside Bamberg in the very small town of Köttendorf. The beer is a rich caramel color and has a smooth taste. The best part of Hoh though is the chicken. For €4.50 (roughly $6), you get half a chicken that is roasted to perfection with pepper and a heaping side of french fries. Penny and I both had the chicken and a beer and our total was €12.40. Amazing.

I'd like to get out today, hopefully things work out and I'm able to.

Damn, Two in a Row

Went for a nice ride yesterday. I planned on just going out and getting some miles in my legs, but like normal I can't stick to a plan. I looked down at my "cyclo-computer" and realized that I was riding at roughly 12 km/h and that I needed to slow down so that I wouldn't burn myself out. Anywho, blah, blah, blah, cadence, blah, grade, blah, horrible athlete. Below is a print out from my "cyclo-computer" displaying the results of my efforts:

I honestly wish that was just a poor attempt at self-deprecating humor and not a valid representation of my abilities. At least I was rocking my AHTBM socks (thanks to Stevil for offering those) so that each time a crosswind turned into a headwind I was able to hold back the tears by looking at my socks. Of course, that became dangerous after a while and I decided to focus my gaze at the road ahead of me.

After the ride, Penny and I went to Brauerei Spezial for a beer.

Spezial brews a very mild Rauch (or smoke) beer in a Lager, Märzen, and wheat beer. Rauch beer is the beer that put Bamberg on the map. Not literally, as I'm sure it was some cartographer slowly slaving away at his passion. The story the new guys in town hear is that one of Bamberg's malt factories (there are a minimum of two) caught on fire centuries ago and instead of wasting all the malt and perhaps missing out on a brewing season, the breweries used the malt that was left. The fire imparted a smoky flavor to the malt unknown to the brewers at the time; and the rest as the say is history. While this isn't the true beginning, it makes for a unique fable.

The beer is a nice amber color with only a mild smoke flavor. The smokiness is really more of an afterthought and compliments many meat dishes extremely well. It is quite delicious. Spezial also has a keller on the hillside above Bamberg that is open in the summer and offers inexpensive food, more great beer, and one of the best view of the city you can get while enjoying a beer.

Back to cycling quickly. Mark Cavendish gave the "Italian middle finger" upon crossing the finish line at the Tour de Romandie's second stage. Of course there has been a big to-do about it. Comments decry his finish line "antics" and argue that he has tarnished the sport of cycling. Whatever. He doesn't dope, he wins races, and he brings emotion to the pro peloton. Look at what Tiger Woods did for the game of golf (before the scandal). He won (a lot) and showed his emotions, both good and bad, on the course. For the last decade golf has been more popular in the US than it probably ever has. Cav is good for cycling, despite what all these "purists" who love the "soul" of cycling say.