Biological Makeup and the Making of a DB

We all remember AC's and James Harrison's threats to retire over the last few months. The newest athlete to jump on the "I've done something that the rules of my sport prohibit and now that I've been caught I will attempt to scare the sport into reducing my punishment by threatening to retire" bandwagon is last year's (now stripped) TdF King of the Mountain Champion Franco Pellizotti. The UCI's biological passport system was validated by CAS in an expedited ruling at the request of Pellizotti's legal team. It is the request for a quick ruling that makes Franco's statement that he's quitting (or retiring, it's all semantics), "Not because of my age or for the time, even though it's two years, it's because I am tired." If he is tired why did he request to have a quick turn-around on his appeal?

I don't know that Pellizotti doped or not, so he may have a better argument for retiring than both AC and Harrison since they clearly violated their sports' rules. Another person, though no athlete, who violated his sport's rules is OSU Football Coach Jim Tressel. What Coach Tressel did was not share information he knew of that implicated some of his players (stars including starting QB Terrell Pryor) in a federal drug-trafficking case as well as selling memorabilia. What makes him a bigger DB than he was when he failed to pass on that information to anyone was his attempt at an apology/excuse:

"Obviously I'm disappointed that this happened at all. I take my responsibility for what we do at Ohio State tremendously seriously and for the game of football. I plan to grow from this. I'm sincerely saddened by the fact that I let some people down and didn't do things as well as I possibly could have."

Of course he's disappointed it happened, if he never got caught what would he have to be disappointed about? Secondly, I love the classic, "saddened by the fact that I let some people down." Really? How about deeply saddened that you failed in your obligation as an authority figure who is responsible for the development of the athletes on your team (including the minute percentage that will make a living out of playing the sport after college) or deeply saddened because you not only gave OSU a black eye, but the entire NCAA? It's like the apology where you tell someone that you're sorry they feel mad/upset/sad about some action of yours; thereby making it seem like it was their fault for getting mad/upset/sad in the first place. And what does he get for all this - a two game suspension and a fine of $250,000. I'm not going to argue that a quarter-million dollar fine is anything to laugh at, but a two game suspension? The players got five.

I guess all this rambling leads me to the point that despite the fact that I want to believe otherwise, history and experience has taught me that all sports are a business and the bottom line isn't necessarily winning, but keeping your paycheck flowing in.

Mama Might Have Mentioned Something About Days Like This

Before we get into the world of professional cycling, let's discuss my recent woes. My Garmin Edge 305's mode key was broken, so I contacted Garmin and returned it for repair. I thought I was going to get it back quickly because of the time of year as well as the fact that the repair facility is about 20 miles away. Yesterday I called Garmin to ask where my computer was (I shipped it on the 31st of January and was told I would get it back in 7-10 days) and was told that they hadn't received it yet, almost three weeks after I sent it. So I went down to the post office to ask where my Garmin may be as well as ask about filing a claim on the insurance I purchased for it. Before asking I knew I would get the response I ended up getting, "That package was delivered in the first of February." Sweet. So now I'm in a he said, she said thing with Garmin. We'll see how that turns out.

To make matters worse, I got a call from the bike shop letting me know that my rear derailer is bent and needs to be replaced. Awesome. Hopefully the bad days end now and the good days begin. I'm sure the beer tasting (read: beer party with a large range of beer types) I'm attending (read: crashing) this weekend will help bring about those good days.

In the now wide-spread Landis/Kimmage interview, Floyd talks about how even with drugs, cyclists have good days and bad days:

"You still have good days and bad days and all the other variables - you didn’t sleep well, you didn’t eat well, you have a good day and a bad day. Anytime you add the drug card they always attribute everything that happened to the drug but they will happen anyway. It just changes how fast you go relative to how fast you would have gone."

I think many people believe that just because a cyclist (or any athlete for that matter) is doping, everything is easy for them. Clearly, based on Floyd's words, that just isn't true. I'm not going to argue whether or not LA doped, but either way he certainly was suffering here in 2003 (during a time when he was accused of doping):

Again, I'm not saying he was or wasn't, but if he was the drugs clearly didn't make racing in the 2003 Tour easy for LA. If he was doping in 2003, those drugs surely had no effect on how much he suffered during his 2005 SCA deposition:

The quick background story for these videos is summed up best in the NY Velocity write-up, "Tailwind Sports had taken out an insurance policy with SCA Promotions to cover a $5 million performance bonus for Armstrong winning the 2004 Tour. However, when David Walsh and Pierre Ballester's book L.A. Confidentiel came out, SCA refused to pay, claiming that Armstrong voided the contract by doping to win." In the end the decision went the way of LA, who was awarded his bonus because the contract had no stipulations concerning doping.

As I mentioned in Wednesday's post, AC is back to racing. Here he is signing in at the Tour of Algarve:

Everything looks to be back to normal; the champ is once again mounted on his carbon steed ready to take down his adversaries with his hand gun. But wait, what is this:

Seriously AC, what's with the cycling cap? His poor choice of accessories notwithstanding, it would appear that AC has taken the Specialized marketing claim of "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" to heart by riding for Saxobank Sungard. Unfortunately, Specialized's poster boy defected to the Trek camp for this season:

Of course, I think Cancellara could be riding the Specialized that his image is used to sell and he would still be competitive in the peloton:

I'm not sure if those training wheels are UCI compliant or not, but I'm sure that even with them Cancellara will still have bad days and good days like he does on his normal ride.

Andy's promised attack up the Tourmalet occurred. The result was carnage all over the mountain. Unfortunately the one survivor (other than Schleck) was AC:

How it went down was much more exciting than the finish, including Andy's weak one arm pump. At about 10 kilometers to go Andy attacked, dropping everyone except AC and Rodriguez, who held on for a little while before eventually dropping off:

It wasn't an explosive move, Andy just cranked up the speed ala Spartacus during Paris-Roubaix. After a couple kilometers AC countered with his own attack that Andy quickly neutralized:

So after the bloody mess that was stage 17, there was absolutely no shift in the top five on the GC.

Despite having a touch of the old bronchitis, Cav easily won today's stage to Bordeaux. It's exciting to see him pull away from the field, but it's a scene that has played out a bunch, so no need to put up a picture of him celebrating as he crosses the finish line. Instead, I'll put up this picture purely for my own amusement:

I think the big-to-do surrounding the last two stages though was the star power. While spending time in France promoting their new movie, Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz took some time to catch a glimpse of the peloton:

Believe it or not, those two weren't the only celebrities enjoying the race:

It's clear that the athlete in Kobe came out on the slopes of the Tourmalet. He actually kept up with AC and Andy for over two kilometers before 'dropping a trey.'

Living in Kansas, I read headlines like, 'Heat kills 2,000 head of cattle.' I wonder why people refer to cattle numbers by head. Why not just 2,000 cattle? Or 8,000 hoof? Anywho, on to more important topics.

23 July DB Podium

1. Manufacturers creating issues that don't exist.
2. Thierry Henry (I'm surprised he didn't use his hand)
3. Jens Voigt

Ok, just kidding about Jens, he's actually really bad ass. I just put him up there because it seems like he has no pain threshold and can ride through anything.

Off to the lake.

Enjoy the off days, ride the bikes, and support the local farmers.

I Came, I Saw, I Concurred

I'm not sure I believe Andy. He said that he would get his revenge during stage 16, which he did not. The story of the day could have been one of two things, depending on your nationality: If you're American, Lance Armstong having a strong showing in the break and finishing sixth on the day:

It was like the Lance of old during some of the attacks. While I may not fawn over Lance like most American cycling media, I respect all the work he does in raising awareness and money to support cancer research. So to see him put in a good effort and not soft-pedal through the rest of the Tour was exciting.

Of course, the other story of the day was the stage winner Pierrick Fedrigo:

Now you may be saying, "If I were French I would be quite happy that Fedrigo won the sixth stage for France during this year's TdF!" You have a valid reason for doing so since Fedrigo was the 2005 French National Champion. If you read Velonews though, you would be more inclined to say, "Hmmm, I wonder were the country of Frane is?"

Since today is a rest day for the riders, I took the opportunity to watch Velocenter and see their angle on the race. I wasn't disappointed when they talked about Lance a lot and painted Contador as a villian. What did disappoint me was the two douches that are hosting the show:

The geek on the right is nicknamed 'Gogo'. Sweet. If his present appearance wasn't enough, he had some real sweet zingers such as:

"Wow is right. Tomorrow is a rest day, which, by the way, you’re gonna need after the call of those highlights – unreal!” - In response to Vincent McMahon's brother discussing stage 16 highlights.
“You got to get a little food going!” - To the highlight of Geraint Thomas in the feedzone:

I'm pretty sure that I will not be watching anymore of their broadcasts. They actually make me miss Neal Rogers and Jason Sumner.

Well, I'm off to enjoy the rest day with a bike ride.

Enjoy the hump day, ride the bikes, and support the veterans.

Holy Crap!

Holy crap!

Some stuff happened this weekend (during the Tour), but it is inconsequential compared with what occurred in today's stage - something that changed this year's race and something no one would have ever expected. On the climb up the Port de Balès, Thomas Voeckler timed a break perfectly and held on to win stage 15. He built up a sizable lead on the climb and continued to extend it on the decent, resulting in an easy win in the French National Champion Tricolour jersey:

Maybe Thomas had been planning it for the last couple stages that he dogged it on, or maybe it was the short-shorts he was wearing. Either way he did the champ's jersey proud.

Oh yeah, there was also the little bit with Andy Schleck (an oversized one at that) pulling a sweet endo on the Balès:

Look at how he dwarfs Vino. What is he on? Not sure if pulling an endo in front of a competitor on a climb is akin to mooning someone in Luxembourg, but I think Andy got a little too confident. And wouldn't you know, as he was taunting the boys from Astana, his chain derails. How's that for karma? If he had pulled it off, "The Endo" would have gone down in TdF lore like "The Look" and "The Shortcut."

I know that when asked Andy said that he wouldn't have done what Alberto did today (counter Schleck's attack and then keep going up the mountain without looking back - looking back means you're weak). I believe that when asked Andy gave an honest answer, but I am not sure that if the roles were reversed if he would have stopped and waited. Maybe, only because he is so strong this year. Do I think what AC did was right? Sure, it's racing. Do I understand both sides of the argument? Yeah, I do.

I would hate to be the bike manufacturer for Team Saxo Bank right now. I mean, a mechanical takes the maillot jaune away during what is an amazing attack? Nope, wait, Astana and Saxo Bank both ride Specialized SL3s. Damn chain.

On other fronts, I am enjoying my TV and cable, but I'm getting real sick of the stupid marketing companies use. In Europe I didn't watch TV that often and when I did it was really only sporting events so I didn't need to understand the language. That made commercials much more tolerable. What I'm getting at is this new automatic soap dispenser from Lysol:

Seriously Lysol, the top of the soap dispenser pump may very well be full of germs, but I touch that dispenser to dispense soap I plan to wash my hands with. Once I complete my hand washing I rinse them and dry them off. The next time I will touch that potentially germ-infested dispenser is the next time I need soap to wash my hands. I hope that the marketing executives at Lysol don't actually think that I rub my hands on the soap dispenser after I wash my hands. Douche bags.

Ok, time to go, I have to study for the LSAT (there's a first time for everything).

Enjoy the sun, ride the bikes, and support successful break aways.

A Tribute to the French

In what was a mere formality, the Manx Missile won his third stage of this year's Tour. As teams fought to get their sprinters in prime position, anyone who has been alive the last three years knew who was going to win:

As predictable as the win was, the run up to it was one of the most exciting I've seen. The peloton's best lead-out man, Mark Renshaw, was in his typical position with Cav on his wheel when Julian Dean brought Tyler Farrar (who unfortunately abandoned in stage 12 after getting dropped on the first climb of the day) to the front. In response to Dean's presence and in the spirit of not getting pushed off his line, Renshaw began to use his head (instead of his hands, because that would be dangerous. HTC team manager Rolf Aldag said, "It didn't look pretty but he had his hands firmly on his bars and was holding his position. I think that's what you're supposed to do.") to push Dean away:

Watching this encounter reminded me of another great world-wide sporting event headbutt that took place in 2006:

And just like Zidane, Renshaw was ejected. Don't worry though Mark, in four years time you can gain a spot on a TdF squad on some clearly illegal play, then disgrace your entire country - just like France. Nice tribute Mark, I couldn't think of a more wonderful belated Bastille Day present.

In stage 12, Contador jumped from the peloton on the climb up Còte de la Croix-Nueve Montée Laurent Jalabert and Schleck was unable to follow. AC caught up with Rodriguez, who attacked a little earlier. Soon the two bridged up to AC's squadmate Vinokourov, who looked like he was going to take the stage win. In the end, Rodriguez out-sprinted Contador (who took 10 seconds on Schleck) to take the stage:

and Vino finished third. I don't know what the Astana team bus will be like tonight, but if I were Alberto I would worry about Vino's older brother coming after me in August:

In this week's podium, the top step is occupied by none other than:

16 July DB Podium:
1. LeBron James (I don't care where he plays, it's the way he got the news out that I disagree with)
2. Thierry Henry
3. BP

Enjoy the show, ride the bikes, and support local businesses.

Cold Fashioned Refreshment - Sleeveless Shirts Prohibited

Reviewing older posts I noticed that my tour of the wonderful world of Bamberg beer stagnated after Keesman - leaving two more breweries to highlight. I shall begin today's journey with Brauerei Greifenklau. Located at the top of the Kaulberg, Greifenklau has a wonderful view from its garden. It serves up some mean Franconian food stuffs as well as some extremely tasty lager. Served in a krug (known as a stein or tankard in the US), Greifenklau lager possesses a golden color and a smooth-as-butter (but not tasting like butter) flavor that has a punchy aftertaste.


Heading down the Kaulberg and back into town leads us to our last Bamberg brewery, Kaiserdom. Kaiserdom brews what is probably the most universally known German style of beer: the Hefeweizen. Thick, heavy, and a bit sweet, Kaiserdom's signature beer goes well with food or as a meal by itself.


On our way to St. Louis from the lake house, Penny and I noticed a cyclists who was talking on his cell phone and was not wearing a helmet. If you've read any of my previous posts you understand how I think helmets are a wonderful idea and should be worn any time you are on a bike and how much I hate that people feel they can operate a vehicle (motorized or otherwise) while talking/texting/apping (I have the license to verbalize application as the author of this blog). Worst of all though, the cyclists was wearing a jersey like this:

After driving around northwestern Arkansas/southwestern Missouri I can only imagine that the cyclist was from the area. The roads are extremely curvy with many hills (good for cycling) and the drivers speed on them as if they were one large F1 track (bad for cycling). This combination is enough for me to doubt the safety of any cyclist down there.

Speaking of roads, I failed to mention earlier that I was able to check off one of my "things to do before I die" list. In Pennsylvania I drove over the highest elevation on I-80W east of the Mississippi River. No lie. My life is one more puzzle piece closer to being complete.

One of the two most interesting people I saw while in Israel was this man:

Hawking baby wares in the Muslim Quarter of the old city of Jerusalem could or could not be a lucrative business, but as you can see in the picture the possible buyers were perhaps not the target audience. On the other hand, Mr. T. had his gold chains trained on the target audience with military like precision.

When Mr. T. was shown the fat that drained off the food cooked in the Flavorwave Oven, he responded with the quote of the trip, "who want to put that in they body?!"

In the bike realm, check out the new impec from BMC. Quite sexy.

Without putting anything in my body I'll end this week with a flattened DB Podium:

2 July DB Podium Field:
1. Anyone who talks/texts/apps while operating a vehicle

I Love U Bandit Queen

A lot has happened since my last post - here I will condense all happenings to those that are essential (in addition to shortening the time I spend typing this post, not covering the last few weeks in detail allows me blog fodder for weeks to come).

Israel was quite amazing. Here are a few pictures that I have specially selected for today's post:





For those of you who are observant, you can see that I'm perusing a copy of Men's Journal with Lance Armstrong on the cover. I don't read a ton and being over in Europe for the last five years has me a little behind on my knowledge of American magazine literature, but in what I've read over the last few months it appears that the American media is in love with Lance. Don't get me wrong, on my best day after training for years I wouldn't be able to finish a TdF stage within the time limit, let alone win seven Tours in a row (after recovering from cancer), but in the eyes (and words) of many a media outlet Lance can do no wrong. I'm not sure if this has trickled down to American cycling fans or if it has trickled up to the media (it makes business sense to print articles praising athletes fans love and want to read positive articles about).

On a more broad cycling theme let's discuss social contract theory (heretofore known as theory). At its very basic, the theory states that individuals give up certain liberties to reap the benefits of being a part of a society, namely convenience. While many don't want to believe it, this theory pertains to cyclists as well. For the convenience of not having to create roads or maintain said roads, cyclists have to give up certain liberties - namely the ability to pick and choose which laws to follow. If you want to be taken seriously as a vehicle, which many cycling blog authors claim, then you should be subject to the rules and regulations that govern other vehicles. Of course there are idiots who don't think so, like a San Francisco native in this article who thinks that it's ok to cycle and text (though of course it is too dangerous for pedestrians to text while walking). Then there is this wonder from across the pond in dear ole England that claims they ran into a child at full speed with their bike and caused no harm. It makes one wonder what "full speed" means. I sure hope that if I were riding at full speed a child would at least fear being hit by me. Here you'll find a blogger who understands the idea that laws apply to everyone, though his smugness in his description as a "part-time driver" makes me wish he were struck by a cyclist at "full speed." These are only three examples of the many takes on the theory when it comes to cycling and driving. I can't give you any facts or statistics to back up my next statement, but I have a feeling (unfortunately) that most cyclists are in the "I don't have to follow the rules of the road" camp.

A while back I had Floyd occupying all spots on the DB podium. I want to clear up that he earned those spots for doping and then lying about it for four years, not for accusing other riders of doping. Sure, you don't tell on your buddy at school when he illegally parks in a teachers only spot, but knowingly letting professional riders earn money for cheating is far worse than being called a rat or breaking any imaginery "code of silence" between riders. So, big ups to Floyd (though I doubt his motives were purely altruistic) and here's to hoping that USA Cycling takes his accusations seriously and conducts a thorough investigation. We don't need a witch hunt, but professional cyclists should understand that doping won't be tolerated and that accusations will be handled appropriately.

Speaking of the DB podium, a story I read on one of the websites I frequent had a link to D. Dowd Muska's website with this gem of an article. This guy makes the competition for this week's podium a race for second. It's like Usain Bolt, Kevin James, and Rush Limbaugh in a foot race, the only real unknown is which of the two (James or Limbaugh) will have a heart attack first. For this week's DB race though, the race for second was narrowly won by an Israeli security guard employed by the US State Department. Stacy, as Penny and I referred to her as, amassed a trio of DB victories: she yelled at me for sitting on a metal barrier, unplugged the fan that was being used to cool Americans waiting to enter the embassy (it was easily 98 degrees around 10:45 am and there was about three feet of shade), and denied American citizens access to American soil. Of course all of this could be explained by the fact that her training most likely consisted of multiple PowerPoint presentations that totaled roughly two hours but were reported as taking 40. Her transgressions easily outdistanced the Customs and Border Protection Agency's Officer Siggs at the Wichita Airport. Her major offense was telling us that we (Penny and me) had failed to do our job and understand Kansas law as it pertains to importing wine for personal use. She lectured us on how her job was to enforce federal and state laws and that we had to provide her with a "permission slip" from the state of Kansas allowing us to bring in the wine we shipped from Germany. She quoted Kansas law saying we were authorized one gallon of wine. Penny did some research to discover that we could bring in as much wine as we wanted, we would just have to pay taxes on all of it above one gallon. So we spent a whopping $11.30 on taxes and picked up our wine. In numerical order, here's this week's podium:

25 June DB Podium:
1. D. Dowd Muska
2. "Stacy"
3. Officer Siggs

Here's to hoping your weekend is sunny and that all of your rides are at "full speed."

(Ro)Mania: (Pea)Cock Fights, Feral Dogs, and Probably More

First off I feel that I owe an apology to André Greipel for dogging him so hard a few posts ago. Herr Greipel won stage 18 of the Giro (the last sprinter's stage) to make up for some of his earlier lack-luster performances. Perhaps I should be giving him a big thumbs up and proverbial pat on the back since he stayed in the race as a sprinter even after the roads turned upwards. Cav, Renshaw, and Boonen can't say that and they were racing in the ATOC, a race that I claimed was inferior to the Giro. Then again, perhaps I should save a spot on the DB Podium for André 'Cold Duck' Greipel because he couldn't win a stage until the best sprinter of the race (Tyler Farrar) had dropped out.

Penny and I have had a very interesting day. When we left the airport outside Bucharest, we were dropped off at this "bus stop":

Which had a paved path to this "train station":

As the train approached, a feral cat thumbed its nose at Romania's public transportation by walking on to the tracks and enjoying its mid-afternoon constitutional. While I don't have any photographic evidence of the cat-train encounter, I can only imagine it would look something like this if the cat was domesticated:

Once into the city, Penny and I walked around a park which contained a small zoo. One of exhibits was a cage of peacocks. No sooner had we walked up, two of the giant birds started a no-holds-barred demonstration that would make GSP crap his tiny shorts.

Feeling hungry and wired due to all the excitement, Penny and I headed to dinner where I sampled some Romanian-brewed beer:

Judging from this label it would seem that the Romanians are a humble people. The beer was kind of what I expected; it smelled like a Heineken and tasted like a Pilsner Urquell.

28 May DB Podium
1. Idiot German Cyclists
2. LA and his gang (take a lesson from Vaughters)
3. Greipel (though I guess he could be included in #1)

Pills, Pils, and the Other 'P' Word

Stage 16 of the Giro was one of the most exciting and ridiculous stages - a 12.9 kilometer uphill time trial. Seriously, if the organizers of the Giro expect the riders to race as fast as possible up the Plan de Corones with grades as steep as 24% and then complete a hilly, 173 kilometer stage the next day maybe they should rethink their stance on using performance enhancing drugs. Just look at the faces of Basso and Evans as they approached the TT finish line:

The stage was so grueling Evans didn't even have the energy to slap any of the Italian fans that circled him.

After a stage that saw the GC favorites put in herculean efforts, it was expected that the pace would be a little slower on stage 17. That didn't stop Frenchman Damien Monier from soloing away from the break on the day's final climb to claim his first professional victory.

Despite his physically (and most likely emotionally) draining win, he was able to put on his best face for the post-stage interviews:

The mountain stages of the last week or so have highlighted the superiority of the Giro over the ATOC. I know that Americans love the ATOC and think it's the most important race in the world (heck, Velonews ran their cycling show Velocenter everyday during the ATOC, only once discussing what was happening in the Giro, one of only three grand tours), and I agree that it is an important race for American cycling as it shows the sport has an American fan base (and more importantly can bring in revenue). But think about this: Neil Rogers (from the previously side-noted Velonews and Velocenter) pretty much said that Levi had no chance of winning the ATOC after he finished the stage 7 TT 25 seconds back. In the Giro, guys like Vino, who is 5:12 back after today's stage, are still considered contenders with only four days of racing left. Maybe some like to watch a stage race that is decided during one stage, but why race the other stages? That is why the race calendar includes the classics.

Since we're on the topic of cycle racing, let's have a chat about the TV commentators. A few years ago when I was just getting into professional cycling I loved the commentators and all the wisdom they imparted - explaining the tactics of breakaways, discussing team support, detailing the history of each rider/team, and reading the descriptions of each palace/castle/town the race passed through from the local tour book. Now that I have a basic understanding of how a race works I find myself criticizing the commentators and their need to always talk about something. I'll tell you guys, we don't need to know that you guys call Tommy Danielson 'Tommy D' or that George Hincapie never misses a move a dozen times each stage. So stop it, thanks.

Back to doping real quick. The whole Landis affair has brought Burt Friggin' Hoovis and his gang over at Flemish for Poser/Doucheblogcycling back to their roots. The world needs it's watchdogs, keep up the good work over there guys.

Finally made it to Keesman for a beer and some lunch on Monday. The signature beer offered by Keesman is their Herren Pils. Like any good pils, the Herren Pils is smooth with a hoppy flavor, as opposed to a "hoppy cyclist." Beautifully clear and clean, there is nothing better on a warm summer day than a dip in the river followed by a couple of Herren Pils at Keesman.

While at Keesman, Penny and I were presented with this masterpiece of European hair:

As the week crests the hill and heads down its backside, I think it fair that I impart some training tips I've acquired over the years. Despite the fact that I have not competed in any sanctioned races on my bicycle, I have been known to use performance altering drugs: namely beer. Recently though I was introduced to what could become my new secret weapon in the daily grind:

Let's just hope the UCI never places it on the banned substances list.